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Beginning Anew
To begin anew is to look deeply and honestly at ourselves, our past actions,
speech and thoughts and to create a fresh beginning within ourselves and
in our relationships with others. At the practice center we practice Beginning
Anew as a community every two weeks and individually as often as we like.
We practice Beginning Anew to clear our mind and keep
our practice fresh. When a difficulty arises in our relationships with
fellow practitioners and one of us feels resentment or hurt, we know it
is time to Begin Anew. The following is a description of the four-part
process of Beginning Anew as used in a formal setting. One person speaks
at a time and is not interrupted during his or her turn. The other practitioners
practice deep listening and following their breath
1) Flower watering - This is a chance to share
our appreciation for the other person. We may mention specific instances
that the other person said or did something that we had admired. This
is an opportunity to shine light on the other’s strengths and
contributions to the sangha and to encourage the growth of his or her
positive qualities.
2) Sharing regrets - We may mention any unskillfulness in our actions,
speech or thoughts that we have not yet had an opportunity to apologize
for.
3) Expressing a hurt - We may share how we felt hurt by an interaction
with another practitioner, due to his or her actions, speech or thoughts.
(To express a hurt we should first water the other person’s flower
by sharing two positive qualities that we have trully observed in him
or her. Expressing a hurt is often performed one on one with another
practitioner rather than in the group setting. You may ask for a third
party that you both trust and respect to be present, if desired.)
4) Sharing a long-term difficulty & asking for support- At times
we each have difficulties and pain arise from our past that surface
in the present. When we share an issue that we are dealing with we can
let the people around us understand us better and offer the support that
we really need.
The practice of Beginning Anew helps us develop our kind speech and compassionate
listening. Begin Anew is a practice of recognition and appreciation of
the positive elements within our Sangha. For instance, we may notice that
our roommate is generous in sharing her insights, and another friend is
caring towards plants.
Recognizing others positive traits allows us to see
our own good qualities as well.
Along with these good traits, we each have areas of weakness, such as
talking out of our anger or being caught in our misperceptions. When we
practice “flower watering” we support the development of good
qualities in each other and at the same time we help to weaken the difficulties
in the other person. As in a garden, when we “water the flowers”
of loving kindness and compassion in each other, we also take energy away
from the weeds of anger, jealousy and misperception.
We can practice Beginning Anew everyday by expressing
our appreciation for our fellow practitioners and apologizing right away
when we do or say something that hurts them. We can politely let others
know when we have been hurt as well. The health and happiness of the whole
community depends on the harmony, peace and joy that exists between every
member in the Sangha.
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